10:47 AM or thereabouts…

Christy died at 10:42 AM today. Steve was there and he said she went very peacefully.

My sister had a sense of humor right until the end, whether she meant to or not. Mom and I had gone to the bank to get mom signed onto Christy's bank account. Here's a thing I didn't know before: In Texas the power of attorney stops at death. When we were at the bank, Christy was alive. No problem.

Then mom went to the title office to get the car title switched to her name. Mom and Christy have shared that car for years and used to be on the same title. But when they moved and Chrisity had had seizures I told mom that it might be good not to be on the title with her. Christy agreed (although she promised not to have a seizure while driving) and so the car was in Christy's name. We both knew that Christy was not going to be driving again and mom would be and the insurance needed to be in mom's name and she had to have a car… see? This is why you need to think about these things while you still can.

The title change happened at 10:47. We will have to wait and see who decided on the time of Christy's death to know if mom can really be on the title or not. The car in question is a 10-year-old Mustang that mom just paid $1300+ to have the brakes re-done on. (Seriously, be careful what fluid you pour into the brake fluid port on your car. Christy chose unwisely.) The brakes are worth more than the car but it may be that Christy's creditors want the car. Part of the funny thing to me is realizing that my 79-year-old mother is driving a silver Mustang that is loud and powerful. Gives one pause. The other funny thing is that my sister, the master procrastinator, managed to die at the particular moment she did. It actually makes me grin.

We got back to the hospital and had time to spend with Christy's body. I'm of the firm opinion that when you're gone, your body is just what's left behind. But Christy had visitors after death and it was good for them all. The rest of the day was taken up with what happens after death to survivors. The funeral mass will be at St Mary's on Thursday morning. I hope the burial will be in OKC at Ressurection Cemetary around 11:00 AM.

Just for those of you who want to know about these things: no emabalming, cremation, no frills box, obits in the paper… expect it to cast $3000-$5000. And that's if you own your plot, which mom and Christy do. Another thing I learned today is that if you are cremated, more than one person can occupy a plot in many cemetaries. Who knew?

We went back to the bank for more papers, told them Christy died, and her accounts were promptly frozen. Luckily that was fine with us. But it was a heartwarming experience and that I did not expect. The woman we spoke to had worked with Christy, remembered her, liker her a lot, and cried at the news. Seriously – would that happen at your bank?

So there you go. Christy is not in pain. She died too young but she loved life. I'll miss her, but I will remember her fondly. I don't feel strong, or particularly special. This is what families should be like and should do. I'm average – not massively compassionate or special. I think we all are or can be exactly this way. It's what you do for family. And mine is here for dinner (which thankfully Steve is cooking) so I will sign off.

 

61 thoughts on “10:47 AM or thereabouts…

  1. My deepest sympathy in the loss of your sister—it touched my heart on how you were there for her and your Mother….God bless you in the days ahead….

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  2. So sorry for your loss. It is amazing to me how the internet lets us become friends with someone we never will meet. But your loss touched my heart. Blessing to you and all your family. I can’t imagine the pain of losing your sister…

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  3. Becky, I only met you once here in Australia but you and your loved ones mentioned in your blog became so well known to me through your writings.
    I too am a carer and fear the day that must come but your story gives me some hope that life is what it is and we can only do our best.
    You will never know how you have touched lives.

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  4. My deepest sympathy to you and your family. I think you are a wonderful sister, daughter, mother and wife. Take care and remember the good times with your sister.
    Denise in Sacramento

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  5. What lovely posts about your sister. You are a strong woman, and a good sister. I hope happy memories bring you comfort now and in the future. So sorry for your loss.

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  6. Becky,
    I´m so sorry to hear about your sister, my deepest sympathy to you and your mother. Is good to know that you have your mother so close to you now. A big hug to you.

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  7. Becky,
    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
    Your words have been a wonderful inspiration. Please take care of yourself!
    Lots of hugs from me to you.
    Carol

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