September 11 has become a day of reflection for so many people. The date has meaning in the larger world but it has become meaningful to my family in a different way. On September 11, 2008, Christy's kidneys were removed. Today, September 11, 2011 is probably going to be the day she dies.
Chirsty had been doing so very well. Her infection was healing, she was happy and making new friends. I really thought she was headed for some good times. But on Thursday she developed a gastric bleed. By the end of the day it was bad enough that they moved her back to the ICU at the hospital. She decided that she'd had enough. All treatment stopped and the pain alleviation began.
That sounds so civiliized, doesn't it? In many ways it has been. The physicians and nurses have been better than I could hope for for myself. But the fact is that when you are strong-willed, even when you want to die it's not that easy. We did have time to visit, and joke some (she has always had a good sense of humor) before the drugs took over. She, and we, have had company. She'd be happy if she could be to realize how many people will remember her with love.
The photos above and below were taken right around the time her kidneys were removed.
At the time we took these she wasn't keen on the idea because the disease had already aged her some. But looking at them now she was the picture of health then. I mention this especially for those of you who avoid pictures. Please lighten up and let people take your picture. It's not for you, it's for them. Pictures are yet another bit of yourself that you leave behind. It helps people remember you. Here are two of my favorites of my sister and me:
Christy and I have had a complicated relationship over the years but, whether we were happy with each other or not, we have always been protective of each other. I'm glad I'm here to help her now. I'm glad the newer good memories will take precedence over the rougher times in the past.
Piece O Cake Blog 
I hope that you find strength and comfort during this difficult time.
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Sending along hugs of comfort and prayers for you and your family at this difficult time.
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Having just lost my Mother on Labor Day I think I can understand your feelings of helplessness,(is that a word). Please find comfort in wonderful memories you have of your sister and you will keep her in your heart forever. My prayers are with you, your family and your sister today.
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My thoughts are with you and your family. Losing a close family member is so painful. I hope the good memories you have will be with you forever.
Thank you for the advice on pictures. I hide behind the camera whenever possible. May have to rethink that.
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Prayers of comfort to your family. And may Cindy go peacefully into that next world.
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I’m so very sorry. Losing someone close is always difficult, and perhaps more so when the relationship has been complicated.
I’m glad that she got to enjoy the new house a bit and know how much she was cared about.
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I am so touched by your sharing this most heart felt tribute to your sister.
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I am so sorry, Becky – I send you prayers and strength as you go through this most terrible day and weeks to come. Judy C in NC
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Prayers and hugs to you and your family. Terry -Nice, Cal
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Becky, I am sorry to hear about Christy. Thank you for sharing her with us…sister love is special. Lots of thoughts and prayers for you and your family at this difficult time.
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I am so very sorry about your sister. I am sure she has felt your love for her. Prayers of comfort to you and your family.
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So sorry to hear what has happened. I can only think how strong your sister has been and how hard it is for your family and especially your mom. How very fortunate that they made the move to TX so they are nearby now. Sending healing thoughts your way. Sally
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Becky my thoughts and prayers are with you and your Mother at this time. Pictures are treasured forever for new beginnings and for endings. History to pass to family members to be remembered.
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sending you lots of love and hugs.
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Thinking of you and your family….Your post was moving and wise.
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Prayers and hugs.
Love,
Debi
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Hugs and prayers.
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Oh Becky, I am so sorry. There are no words sufficient I know. Please know that you and your family are in my prayers and I pray your sister is at peace.
MAry
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Such sadness. I am so sorry. You and your family are in our prayers.
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Sending you a BIG hug and prayers.
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Becky, as I’ve read your blog over the last couple months, not knowing the story, just seeing the work you chronicled about the house, I saw love in action… so sorry for what is to be your loss, and that of your family… hope you will all find solace in memories, and in time shared with others…
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Oh Becky, my heart goes out to you and your family. It truly is a blessing that your mom is there now. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
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Prayers are with you and your family and I’m so glad that you moved your mother and Christy so close to you.
Connie C
Tulsa
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My thoughts are with you and your family. It is so good that your Mom and Christy got to move close to you. You have been such a wonderful sister.
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Becky, my thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family in this difficult time.
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I am so sorry and can only begin to imagine how difficult and sad this is for you.
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My heart goest out to you but it looks like you have great memeories of good times with your sister. Those are the ones that will stay with you forever. Letting her go is hard. Do know what joy you had brought to her with her new room.
Take care and if there is anything that any of us can do please let us know.
Sue
Upstate NY
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You are in my thoughts and prayers today. You will always love and miss your sister.
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Dear Becky: I am so very sorry about the grave condition of your sister. Christy is a brave woman to make the decision to let go of this life and to move on to the unknown. I’m not particularly religious, but I do believe our spirits will reunite somehow in the future. The way you and your husband have poured heart and soul into the house for Christy and your mom is tangible evidence of your love and extreme caring. If this tragic turn of events had to happen, then I am glad you are all together. Part of me thinks Christy may have hung on until she knew your mom would be settled right next to you. I wish you peace and solace in the coming weeks. All of your family is lucky to have you sharing your strength and wisdom. You are in my heart and prayers. Maria, California
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Bless you Becky. I am praying for you and your family. I love the pictures of you and your sister. Particularly the last one. She is so blessed to have you as a sister.
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My prayers and thoughts are with you during this…Hugs to you and your mom….
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Oh Becky I am so sorry. I pray that your sister is pain free and has a peaceful journey. I love the photos.
And I agree with allowing people to take your picture, even if you don’t like to do it. I am allowing this now for my family as I face my own early demise.
Take care
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Dear Becky, Oh how my heart goes out to you and your family. You’ve been such a wonderful sister, with such a special relationship…I don’t think anyone could ask for more! My prayers are for you, your Mother and your family. With love, Vicki
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Our prayers are with you at this time. Am sure your sister knows how much you love her.
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I am very sad for you. Such a lot to go through. My thoughts are with you.
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Thank you for sharing all that you do… the loss of Christy is so sad especially considering all that you and your family did to make a home for her and your mom close to you. My thoughts and prayers are with you all in this very difficult time.
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My heart goes out to you and your family. I am so glad your Mom is with you.
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Thinking of you as you face the loss of your sister. Praying for peace for you and your family.
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Dear Becky,
I read your blog regularly and you have felt like a friend. I am so sorry for you, and your mother. I am so glad you have such a strong family to support you through your loss.
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Becky, Your sister was so fortunate to have the family she did. It’s so hard to say goodbye, but rather say aloha…hello, goodbye, I love you.
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Becky, my thoughts and prayers are with you all this sad September day. How wonderful for Christy to know you were always there when it mattered.
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Oh Becky, I am so sorry. She knows you love her-that is the most important thing. Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
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I’m going to hug my 4 sisters tomorrow and at Thanksgiving we are going to take a picture of ” the gang ”
Thanks for sharing !!!!
(((((hugs)))))
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My prayers are with you and your family. May you call on all your angels to help you thru this difficult time.
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thoughts of you and your mother, I am sorry…
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What lovely photos you have and lovely memories as well. My thoughts are with you,
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Becky I have followed you and your blog for a long time, I have never posted anything. I feel like I know your family. I have never seen a person so loving to her family and so creative for the rest of us. I think your sis is beautiful just like you.
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I am so terribly sorry,
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I’m so sorry for what you are experiencing right now. You’ll stay in my heart.
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Becky, you and your family are in my heart and prayers. Gwen
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