Be nice.

Dr. Michael Sorrell, president of Paul Quinn College, spoke at the Austin College commencement this year. One thing he said has stuck with me: Be nice.

He went beyond that to say that when you aren’t nice, people won’t like you. And if no one helps you [when you need it], it’s because no one likes you.

That’s harsh! But take a moment to think about people you don’t like. Are you going to go out of your way to help them? Not so much. Which takes me back to the top: Be nice. Build relationships with people. We all need friends.

I could stop there, and would have if I had not read this post from Generation Q yesterday. It appears that there is a ‘secret’ facebook group of quilters that is not being remotely nice to people who are different from them. Who knew?! There are unhappy people on facebook! Deep sighs all round, right?

I shy away from politics and religion online and in classes and I’m not going to spout opinions here. That said, my mom and grandmother taught me early on that if you can’t say something nice about someone, it’s best to say nothing at all. It’s better to make friends than it is to make enemies. It’s never nice to intentionally hurt someone else’s feelings who is doing nothing to hurt you.

So, please, let’s all do what we can to spread niceness in the quilt world, and beyond!

BeNice

33 thoughts on “Be nice.

  1. Well said!! I had seen a few other posts about this new issue and was puzzled by it. Why must people be so mean spirited and
    judgemental? And, I am sick and tired of reading such comments on Facebook.

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  2. This is very sad. I read Generation @ also. As a new quilter and only found quilters that are very nice and always willing to help a newbie.

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  3. I agree with you, everyone just needs to be nice. I was always picked on in school because I was (am) short and I carried around lots of books. Looking back on that, I think people who bully are very unhappy people. I do not even go on face book so I’m not aware of what’s going on there but yes everyone should just be nice and love one another. And sew and quilt : ) Have a great day!!

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  4. I so totally agree with this message. From the time I was little, my mom would repeat this quote to me: “There is so much bad in the best of us and so much good in the worst of us that it doesn’t behoove any of us to talk about the rest of us.” I have always taken those words to heart. Additionally, whenever people tell me that I am such a nice person, I respond, ” I have to be . . . my name ends in nice. :-). Janice

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  5. Well said Becky. Totally agree. A side note: When George and I dropped off quilts at your home a few years back, you gave us a tour of your home and mentioned your rule IF I BRING SOMETHING NEW IN SOMETHING HAS TO GO OUT. To this day if I bring something new in to our home George is quick to ask if I am abiding with the BECKY RULE. Miss you and Linda so much. So glad to be able to connect with you thru this and other posts. Elsie

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  6. Exactly! Be nice because you can. Be kind because you can. Help someone because you can. It really is a universal truth I believe. Just sayin…🙂

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  7. “Quilt police” are one thing. “Quilt Bullies” are another whole story. The one thing I have always loved about quilting is the help and advice that is always available. The friends that I have made over the decades I have been a quilter are amazing. I am a hand quilter, and I will admit I wasn’t very supportive when machine quilting hit. Now? I am amazed at the remarkable quilting I see and the talent these quilters have. The idea that there is a “secret group” bashing other quilters is just so darn sad. There is room enough in this universe for all of us, our differing opinions, and our various level of talent.

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  8. Thank you, Becky! You and your grandmother are right. Our society is getting to be very unpleasant. We need to help it turn around!

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  9. Those are the same words from my Mom and have always said them to my children. I can’t even fathom how someone could bully a quilter.

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  10. I’ve always believe that, too. There’s no point in being mean. If you don’t like someone, just stay out of their way. My thought is maybe they just need someone to be nice to them. If it doesn’t work, well, at least you tried. It is very simple and positive – and this world needs more of us just being kind to each other and smiling with a cheerful “hello.” An unexpected compliment can make someone’s day!

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  11. I totally agree with you. I heard about that secret group yesterday and couldn’t believe it. Are we all back in JR High? I thought quilters were especially all about sharing our passion and helping one another. Sad thing is the internet and texting has made it all too easy for people to say things they would never say to someones face.

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  12. Agree. Golden rule. Be the change you wish to see in the world. Karma is operational at all times and in all places. Glad you brought it up.

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  13. I love that Becky. My mom always said the same thing (it would have been nice if she followed her own advice), however I still remember her saying it. Have you thought about designing a small wall hanging with the exact words you have on your little poster? Be nice. Because you can. Love that. I always tell my grand daughters that being nice is the hard part, being mean and bad is easy. Thanks to all our special souls that are keeping us free 🤗

    >

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