I’ve written about my mom before so you know that her health has been iffy. She has come back from being nearly-dead so often that I was beginning to think that she was indestructible. Not this time.
Out of the blue, a clot lodged in her lung and there is nothing to be done. Or, to be more precise, there is nothing that she wanted to have done. She clearly told me so. And you know what, that’s OK.
Over the last few days, she started saying goodbye to everyone. I don’t know how she knew this was coming, but she did. She wrote cards, she was especially warm and loving with everyone. Monday she told me that she wanted to be cremated (already paid for), buried in a nice wood box made by Steve (it’s on his list to make), and that there was no need to dress her up in something when the time came. In fact, she said, if she looked good in what she was wearing and it was comfortable she was happy to go to heaven in that. My mother is a practical woman.
Mom and I have talked about death off and on over the years. We agreed that dying in your sleep, without pain, is definitely the way to go and that is happening now. Her friends have been visiting. When she was alert, she was practically radiant and she made everyone feel so good! It was lovely to behold. She is no longer alert but people still visit. There is some crying, but also lots of remembering how feisty she has always been.
I know that I will miss my mom a lot. She made me crazy sometimes, but she has been an ever-present, always loving part of my life. Her memory will always be with me.
Yesterday mom said “I wish I had time to….” I could see the wheels turning in her head and I asked her what — and she went to sleep. I suspect that there was just so much that she wished she could do that she couldn’t put her finger on one thing.
I hope that I can hold onto this thought. It’s a reminder to not let things go until ‘later’. To be kind, and to apologize right away if you know you should. It’s also a reminder to enjoy every day as if it’s your last, because it could be.
This is not exactly the Merry Christmas sentiment I planned to write this week, but I think it might be better. Truly, enjoy the holiday time you spend with those you love, and those you like, and those you might not be all that crazy about but who are in your life anyway. In the end, our lives are about people, not things.
Piece O Cake Blog 
Becky, please know you and your family are in our thoughts and prayers.
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May your family and your mom find,peace and try to enjoy the holiday season. God bless you all
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Dear Becky,
One could wish for better timing, but your lovely description of your mother’s last days is so heartwarming. These are moments to savor now and in the coming year. Many of us wish for just such an end to a full life.
Peace,
Marion
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My thoughts are with you.
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God bless you and your family. She will always be with you.
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Becky, your Mom and your family are in my prayers. I agree that the best way to go would be quietly in my sleep. Your message today is very heartfelt and honest. Your words inspire me to be thankful for the time that we have to spend with those we love. And to not put off for tomorrow what we can do today. God Bless You g
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So sorry. It’s never easy. I lost my Mom two days after Christmas. She told me she would hang on long enough so we didn’t have Sad Christmas memory. Peace be with her and with you.
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You know, we always went home to mom’s for Christmas and there were always projects. Not cookie-making kinds of projects… home improvement projects that often included our boys. Those memories will always be my strongest Christmas memories.
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I was signed into the other site I maintain. The comment really was me, Becky.
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Bless you and your family. I pray you will find peace and comfort in wonderful memories of your mother and her love for you.
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God bless your mother. Peace.
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Yes, live life to your fullest and don’t wait for someday! Life is precious.
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Becky, i’m so sorry about your mom, but will pray that you will always rejoice in the sweet memories you have. May God bless her and your family as He calls her home.
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A sad story but a wonderful story also.. Glad that she had time to say her goodbyes and let everyone see her love for them. You have a wonderful blessed memory forever of your mom.. Hope you have a peace filled Christmas
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Very beautiful and thank you for sharing.
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Becky~my deepest sympathy in the loss of your Mother! A Mother is always the hardest to give up but even though they are gone, memories abound all the time. My sweet Mother is with me always even though it has been 10 years since she went happily to meet her Lord. Well, prayers for you and your family as the first few months will be difficult. Thank you for sharing with your us.
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What a wonderful tribute. Prayers for all of you.
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A very sweet, thoughtful tribute for your mom. Thinking about you and your family today.
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Warm thoughts coming your way. You have been a good and caring daughter being there for your mom these last few years. Your memories will sustain you. Remember that death is not the end of a relationship, just the changing of one. Blessings.
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Thinking of you and your family. My mother passed away on Easter day. She was also very feisty and energetic. She was pretty much out of it the last week but really perked up on Good Friday when my sons, who are away at university, came for a visit. Enjoy the time you have left. People are so afraid and uncomfortable around death. I believe it’s a moment that deserves to be lived fully.
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I agree with you about that. We are all going to die and it’s nice when it can happen gracefully.
People are funny about funerals too. The best ones are actually joyful occasions, with laughter and shared memories. I can’t say that I’m looking forward to mom’s funeral, but I do think once it happens, it will be a celebration of a life well-lived.
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I was signed into the other site I maintain. The comment really was me, Becky.
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Becky, I’m so sorry to hear about your Mom. Thank you for sharing with us. It warms my heart hearing the peace that you and your Mom have with each other. What a blessing the Love that you and your Mom share. I will be praying for you and your family.
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Sending our thoughts and prayers from Nova Scotia.
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I am at a memorial for a cousin this evening and memories are good and keep your family close! Sorry for your loss!
Debbie Stubbs
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Such a beautiful sentiment! I hope your holiday is filled with beautiful memories!
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Well, that brought many tears but I do miss my mother every day and yes, at times she drove me nuts but I would rather have that than not have her here with me other than in my heart. May you have loving memories and take time to laugh and cry, they are both good for you and your soul. Wonderful post honoring your Mother. Try to have a Merry Christmas, that is what she would want.
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Thank you. And yes, she would want us to enjoy Christmas and I expect we will. It’s weird how life keeps going on, even when it stops for someone dear to youl
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I was signed into the other site I maintain. The comment really was me, Becky.
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You have said this so beautifully! I wish all of you peace. Hugs,
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You have my loving thoughts. It’s never an easy time.Peace to you and yours.
Sent from my iPhone
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What a lovely tribute to your mother. I’m sure a lot of us who have followed Piece O Cake for a long time consider you extended family. Just know that we are sharing your grief. God Bless
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Such a moving post. I’m so sorry you are losing your mom but Oh my goodness it seems like she is peaceful within these last days. I love that she doesn’t care what she is wearing when she heads out on this next great journey. Lucky you to be her daughter and thank you for telling us about her.
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May God hold your family in the palm of His hand, and know that she’ll always be with you. Bless you.
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You are in my thoughts and prayers. It is a blessing for you that you have such wonderful memories. Take care of yourself.
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Becky, I am sending a warm hug of comfort at this difficult time. My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family. I know from first hand experience that you will always treasure her in your heart.
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Your mother sounds a great deal like mine….and my mother died in October. She was kind and generous and had been through a great deal but always managed to be optimistic. I miss her every day, especially talking with her but I also know she was at peace. She too just went to sleep. I’m sending hugs.
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So beautiful, thinking of you this season and forward. Bless you
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I’m so sorry that you are loosing your mom. My own mother passed away in her sleep on Thanksgiving morning 2011, and every Thanksgiving is a reminder. Sounds like your mom is a wonderful woman and you were lucky to be her daughter. God Bless you all.
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My mom said she wanted to go to sleep and not wake up.. that was peaceful.
We all must face it one day..
Glad you had precious time with her.
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Becky what a beautiful tribute to your mom. You are a wonderful daughter. Your mom will always be with you. God be with you.
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Thank you for letting your mom do this on her terms. My mom was a strongl woman and also went on her terms. At times I wonder if I should have tried to talk her into doing more but at 96 she knew her time had come. That is the way to honor our elderly who know what they want I believe. May your memories bring you much comfort…even the driving crazy ones.
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Your mother sounds like an absolutely wonderful person. Passing in our sleep, after having a chance to tell everyone you care about goodbye, is good. I’m sure she will be missed by many. Keep an eye out for the signs, as she’ll still be watching over you and there when you need her. Just not the same way as before, but I’m sure you’ll find her with you enjoying the good times and being supportive in the bad times, as well as guiding you whenever you find a need for her guidance. Just look for the signs and you’ll know she is with you.
Sending positive thoughts and prayers for you and your extended family.
QuiltShopGal
http://www.quiltshopgal.com
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Cherish your memories and she’ll always be with you. Sending hugs….
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Please accept my condolences. My brother in law passed this morning at 3am. It was devestating for All who knew him. Four of us were there at his bedside as he left our world and joined his Heavenly Father. We are blessed to have had him in our lives.
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Beautifully written. From an obviously loving daughter. My dympathy andcating thots your way!
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Beautifully written, Becky. To your Mother, I would say, “Well done!”
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Blessing to your family, I think we would all want to go like this. Learning another life lesson. I’m still going to say Merry Christmas, because soon she will be an angel to watch over you and yours.
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my sympathies, Becky. i lost my mom in september. it is strange to think this is your first time on the planet without a mom! wishing you good memories and the loving company of family and friends.
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Just beautiful Becky! Thank you for sharing your Mom and your insight with us. You are a gift! ❤️
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Your mother is such a wonderful caring person and she is also thinking of you planning her last days and not wanting you to have to make those decisions.
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Becky, your mom sounds like a real sweetheart. May you and she have a peaceful holiday season and know that I am thinking of you and your family.
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I am with you as you say farewell to a large piece of your heart.
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What an inspiration you are. I hope to be just like your mom as I leave this world. Wishing you and yours peace and togetherness for the holidays.
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Sending you a hug and prayers. Your mom sounds like a remarkable woman. May you and your family find some peace this holiday season.
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What a lovely testament to your mom. I will say prayers for your family in this holiday season. May you find peace in the season and joy in your memories. Sending a hug.
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