Just when things were looking up…

On the plus side, my Mom is doing better. She’s more coherent. She likes Bellevue and her roommate. She’s also sounding happy about the possibility of moving to Sherman.

Now for the downside. On Tuesday evening we ended up taking my sister to the emergency room. She ended up (6 hours later) in ICU. As much as she wants it to be true that she can take care of herself, when mom isn’t there to help, bad things happen.

It’s not like I ignored her on the days I was back in Texas. I called, she said she was fine. She didn’t sound all that fine but she’s an adult and she doesn’t want me to be her keeper so I went with what she said. By the time Steve and I really figured out that she was no where near fine it was almost too late. At one point her blood pressure was 39/18. Honestly, I didn’t know you could be alive and have blood pressure that low.

She may be out of ICU in a day or two. Then she’ll probably be in a regular room. Her doctor intends for her to going to a nursing home. I’m not sure she’ll agree to that if she’s coherent and strong enough to walk out.

I don’t know how this is all going to work out. Mom is not going to be able to play the role in my sister’s life that she did before her surgery. I’ll do what everyone does in this sort of situation – the best I can. And I’ll hope that’s good enough.

22 thoughts on “Just when things were looking up…

  1. know that your best will be good enough, but the situation will still be stressful and difficult at best. I will pray for all of you, this is the most difficult time of life for all of you.

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  2. Gosh, Becky. When it rains in your life it really pours. Like Sandy K said – I hope you can get them together in an assisted living facility near you. That way you can keep an eye on things. My prayers are with you and your family.

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  3. Oh Becky my prayers are with you and your family. Make sure during all of this you try to find time to take care of yourself along with your mom and sister.
    Maria

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  4. As someone said don’t forge to take care of yourself in all this. Prayers for all in this very difficult time. And your best is the best, Becky.

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  5. Thank you to everyone who has read about, thought about, and commented on the situation with Becky’s mom and sister. Becky is the strongest person I know, and she will pull everyone through this, kicking and screaming if necessary, but all will be good in the end. For those of you who worry about Becky taking care of herself, be assured that I look after that.

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  6. Becky, you are in my heart and prayers. We have dealt with a similar situation with my husband’s mother and sister. There is never an easy answer. Assisted living worked for a while and then a nursing home together that became comfortable for sister before Mom passed. I’m glad Steve is looking after you. We forget sometimes that we cannot take care of anyone if we are not well.

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  7. We know it gets better, but it can seem overwhelming at times. You are all in my thoughts and prayers. We’ll be rooting for you.

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  8. Oh Becky–such hard times for you! I know that you are strong, but please remember that you need to care for yourself first, so that you are able to care for your mom and sister. I’ll be thinking of you.

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  9. Good grief! It is so difficult to be a caregiver to one person let alone two. There is a lot of weight on your shoulders, but you’re only one person who can do just so much. Be sure to take care of yourself.

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  10. Becky, know that there are a lot of us out there who are keeping you in our thoughts and prayers. You have the support of a wonderful husband, family, and friends. Life will soon return to normal – it will just be a “new normal” – but, one you will be able to handle – that’s just the kind of gal you are!!!!

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  11. Know you can only do your best on any given day and the rest must fall in place. You will be in our thoughts and prayers for the strength and wisdom you need while being the advocate for your mother and sister. Take care of Becky for us. Judy C

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  12. Oh Becky, I’m so sorry. Such a lot to deal with! Your Steve sounds pretty special, though (as if I didn’t already know that from your blog). I’m sending many prayers that things get easier quickly, and that both your mom and sister get better soon! Hugs to you!

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  13. Many hugs and prayers for you. Perhaps if your sister would agree to a temporary stay for 30 – 90 days in a nursing facility to learn how to live independently without your mother she might agree to that. The word “forever” seems to bring a negative reaction. We did this with our mother and after a few weeks she did not want to leave. If she had wanted to leave we would have kept our word and moved her with on of us. Lynne

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  14. Would your sister’s health insurance cover an aide for her? That way she could remain in her home but be looked after. Or, as another poster wrote, maybe she and your Mom could be together in a facility.
    It’s so hard for us to have to now take care of those who used to care for us. I’m lucky in that my Mom, at almost 92, is still pretty independent.
    You and your family are in my prayers and I will send good thoughts your way.

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  15. I have been following your blog for awhile (yeah, I’m a lurker!) and I’ve only commented once in a great while although I could easily comment more often. I don’t know why I don’t! Anyway, I have to tell you that my heart goes out to you as you take care of your Mom and sister. Like you said, all you can do is the best you can!
    My sister and I were taking turns having our Mom live between our two houses for about 18 months but this past August, we put her into a nursing home which was not an easy thing to do but it’s best for her. She’s been developing Alzheimer’s. Anyway, I tell you that to let you know that I can somewhat relate to what you’re going through and I will be keeping your Mom, your sister, and you in my thoughts and prayers. Take care. D~~~~

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  16. I do appreciate all the comments, good thoughts, and prayers. I know that mine is not an isolated case – we all end up going through family things like this sometime. Now is just my time. I know myself well enough to know that I can make decisions, even when they are hard, I just really hope I make the right ones. As do we all in these situations.

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