A friend (thank you, Kate!) forwarded the link to this video from Rethink Breast Cancer. There are other videos here which I have not yet watched. I gotta say that it does make me think of my breast self-checks in a different light. Less of a chore – maybe more of a grin.

If you are offended by bare-chested, muscled men and some covered-but-wiggling tushies, don't click to play. If, on the other hand, that sounds OK – enjoy!

In other news, 24 hours after surgery, I am feeling good! I am following orders and staying down for 3 days. That means I get to watch Steve clean house tomorrow. I will have some guilt that I will try to get over :-). I am thankful today for my laptop and for my handwork. And netflix. Enjoy your weekend. If you are snowed in, I hope you stay warm and have power.

The phone was ringing as I clicked to post my most recent post. It was Elanor saying to come quick, Bear was coming. In the 8 minutes it took for us to drive over to Chris and Lorna's, Bear was born. No midwife, just Chris and Judy, who caught the baby – and Lorna! Judy is now an old hand at this AND her name will be on another birth certificate! Way to go Judy!

I have to say that using a midwife was absolutely the best thing for Lorna – even if the midwife was late to the actual show. The prenatal care was excellent. Judy, Lorna and Chris handled the actual birth very well. Once the doula and midwife arrived they took over. It was calm and normal and very, very nice – better than my experiences in a hospital. And Lorna tells me that the follow-up care is also very good.

Using a midwife is not for everyone and if there had been an emergency, it could have been bad. But it was all normal and knowing how fast Lorna goes from not much going on to having a baby – this was great for her.

We all got to hold the baby. There may be a photo of me with him later.

Here's Steve:

Chris pointed out that Bear has his Uncle Jeff's toes! He can not only curl and grab with his toes – he can spread them way wide. 

So, here he is, all 8 lbs 13 oz, Moses Beren Goldsmith!

I have been thinking about meditation. I haven't actually meditated, but I have been thinking about it which is not the same thing. I've read the reports that say that 10 minutes of meditation a day is oh-so-good for you, but where to start? 

I just stumbled upon this TED talk by Andy Puddicombe which makes me think I could give it a try…

As you know from recent posts, I've been feeling a bit stressed lately so this comes at a good time for me because the next few weeks are looking crazy. Meditation, deep breaths, practicing saying 'no', are all things I'm going to try to do.

In related news: There is an outside chance that Bear may be making a move to be born. As I write this, around noon on Super Bowl Sunday, I figure that there is a chance that he will make a surprise appearance during the game, while Chris is onstage being a henchman, with Judy (Lorna's mom) there to catch him. Judy caught Elanor so she has had practice. If that is the case, I hope to be there for backup. Or, Bear won't be born today. Babies. You just can't set your watch by them!

I leave for Baytown, TX, in the morning to teach and lecture. (Just watch, Bear will come when I'm out of town!) I come home Wednesday. Thursday my doctor is going to re-open my tear duct. We both have high hopes that this time it works. As I lay on the sofa recuperating, I'll think meditative thoughts. Who knows, it may be that Bear waits until I'm up and around to be born. Lorna says that could happen too.

Christopher is in The Three Musketeers, a production by the Sherman Community Players. They have been in rehearsal for weeks, months even. There is swordplay which is, I think, what got his attention in the first place. That's Chris, inside the circle. With the sword :-).

Chris speaks very little, he dies onstage at least 4 times, maybe 5. He swordfights and he's very cute with his hair all slicked back. Trust me, he is by far the very best henchman onstage (although he says he is not).

This is also the son who is still expecting a baby, Bear (not a baby bear), at any time and who now has 3-hour performances 3-5 nights a week and who is working on a PhD while also being a hands-on father and husband. I look at him and know we are genetically related. 

What makes a person over-commit? I do it (obviously Chris does it) and yet somehow we meet deadlines. But as I age, I can tell that over-commitment leads to stress, and stress equals crankiness and wrinkles. I think I need to cut back on commitments but it is so hard to do. Do any of you have strategies that might help? I'm happy to hear them.

I have begun ignoring the phone and email for 2-3 hours a day and that is really helping. 

I'm making progress on the color book. Oh happy day! I have begun marking off 3 hours a day with no email, no phone. I'm surprised at how much easier it is to focus. It's only been 2 days but I think this is a good strategy. I'm a little less crazy and that's a good sign. I'm getting back to the ABCs.

So, about that fabric… I've bought a lot of fabric lately for the quilts for the book. I thought it would be fun to share some of the more interesting ones with you. 

Have you ever noticed how a narrow black and white stripe or little, dense B/W dots can vibrate when you look at them? They make your eyes hurt. The bigger the piece of fabric, the worse it is. But this tiny dot doesn't do that. Why?

I had to look closely to see that not all the dots are black! If you look at the selvage, you can see that there is black plus two very dark grays. It's sort of obvious in a close-up photo but a lot harder to see with your eyes from any distance.

Those dots with 1 – 2 – 3 show the colors in this print. Brilliant! I wish I'd designed it but a friend, Patrick Lose, did which is just as nice. 

I bought a half-yard and I will be sorry when it's gone. I didn't buy more because don't stockpile fabric. I don't have room or an unlimited fabric budget. But mostly I don't have room. 

In other news, the ugly fabric just keeps on coming. I am nervous but optimistic that I can pull off this challenge. Todays ugly fabrics are ones I actually like which was a happy surprise.

If you read this post, you know that I am in need of some ugly fabric. Not a lot of any one fabric, just a little bit of many fabrics. Linda H. in Bohemia, NY, came through in a serious way. She had a box of ugly fabric, saved from a group challenge, that she sent to me.

There are some pieces I like but mostly, I hate it all. Way to go, Linda! I asked for a challenge and I got one.

Rita sent this:

It's not a fabric I would ever buy, but it is not nearly as bad as this, sent by Bernadette:

So far, these awful chimps win the prize for the fabric I despise the most. The only thing might be worse would be clowns… I am not a fan of clowns.

I am challenging myself, so I could give myself an out and give myself permission to discard the most awful fabrics. Instead, my challenge is that I cannot discard them. 

FYI – I bagged this assortment in my 5 lingerie bags for washing and it worked really well. After washing, I took them out of the bags, cut the threads and opened them out. They are in the dryer now.

If you have something ugly to add to my pile, please do send small pieces (up to 12" square-ish) to:

Becky Goldsmith, 919 Starlight Dr, Sherman, TX 75090

Thank you!